How To Save Your Second Marriage When One Spouse Has Children-Blended Families

Raising your own children is a hard enough job. But the added twist of raising someone else's child is a real mind bender.

How do you save the closeness of your marriage when taking on the responsibilities of raising someone else's child?

There are many of us that go into a marriage thinking that love will pull you through, but some marriages have been torn apart from the struggle.

The struggles I am telling you are a bit different from the stress of a teen child that is straying away from their parents.

When two parents are experiencing teen issues from their own child that they share together they are still on the same team. But when a child belongs to only one spouse the team may feel as if it's the child and parent against the other spouse.

When parents lose their connection when raising children the children get the wrong impression and use it to their advantage. Yes, children will use you. They have been doing it since they first began to cry and we been running to their beck and call every since.

My point is this behavior is a natural response and parent have to stick together if they are to survive these trying years together. The best years in your marriage are the years that you work as a team.

Team players can endure every obstacle and become stronger from every experience. In fact they will laugh and enjoy a closer bond from the commitment to work together.

The children will be grown with integrity and respect for being taught first hand what a family unit is all about. It is our duty to teach our children how to be the best they can be from example.

Here is some advice to dealing with children that belong to one spouse:

1. Plan disciplinary action for children in advance if step parent is watching child on their own. Just in case the little bugger go rouge.
2. Agree to discuss punishment privately away from child.
3. Don't let child use other parent as a scapegoat.
4. Spend together and individual alone time to build bond as a family.
5. Have regular shared family time everyday such as dinner or breakfast.
6. Keep step parent abreast of decisions made between you and ex. They are your family.
7. Respect step parents opinions and listen to suggestions.

The advice will work for any parent child situation. Confusion between parents when raising children will be minimized when a plan is in order and agreed upon.

It is very important that all people in the family feel loved. It should be clear that everyone is to be respected as a member of the family. A child that does not feel loved will grow up feeling unwanted and will act out.

A parent that is shut out and feels unwanted and alienated can cause the whole family structure to fail. It is imperative that a family works hard together and the couple always work as one unit or the marriage could fail. It will take some time to adjust to new household rules, but consistency and great care by parents working as a team will help with the success of the family.

Uniting a blended family takes team work and effort from all. A plan to deal with ex's should be deal with to avoid unnessasary problems. Learn how to connect with ex's and don't allow children to play one against the other. Reaching out to the ex's to work with you as a team may not always work. But making the effort will gain respect by the children...eventually.

Children will eventually relax in an environment that is stable and has rules they can depend on.They will have a sense of security which will help them adjust. Making a commitment to raise the best family possible will save your second marriage and enhance your relationship with your new family.